African Safari

Watching a Maasai chief sporting his new Billabong hat was one of my favorite memories of my weekend stay in the Mara a.k.a Maasai Mara. Masai Mara is where Americans and Europeans go to go look at African creatures for their safari vacation. My safari was a little different and a whole lot cheaper. In my opinion it was way cooler too. I went to the home of a dear friend of mine for a two night stay deep in the heart of Africa. I am probably one of the luckiest white people to come to Kenya in fact. I say this because of my friend Julius. Julius is the coolest guy in the world to me and a perfect traveling companion for a white man looking for a little adventure. The only thing I regret is not staying there longer. I needed to get back to town for the kids and Julius had to be back for work, but I still got a taste of the Mara. Julius and I learn a lot from each other here at our compound where he works as our night-gaurd. We are great friends. I teach him about American life, Jesus, eschatology, business ethics, and geography. He teaches me about lion killing, elephant tracking, drinking cow blood, being a bush warrior, and man-swallowing snakes that live in the nearby swamp. One of the coolest things about him is that his English is amazing for a Maasai who has been in town for only three months. It is very rare to find a Maasai with such impeccable English. The other cool thing about Julius is that it was just about one year ago when he entered into his Morran training and killed a male lion. He was the first one of his group to kill the lion therefore making him that much cooler. On top of all that coolness he is a strong, faithful, honest, and true believer in Jesus. He gave his life to Jesus Christ in January. He is maturing and growing like a healthy follower of Christ should and it is a joy to meet such a sweet guy. He is a proud father of four and his newborn son is named Steve after Steve Warn, my host father. He is one of nineteen children and his father is the proud husband of four wives. I really liked his dad. He liked me a ton after I gave him my hat and a hundred shillings.

The weekend started off with a soft introduction. Julius showed me the toilet which is anywhere you don't want people to see you going. It is usually in the bushes. They unfortunately didn't have any Charmin Ultra so Julius showed my his two favorite wiping plants. I loved the Maasai life from the beginning. The morning was nice because his wife prepared some warm water for us to wash our faces. They don't even do that at nice hotels!! Then Julius showed me his favorite type of branch for brushing his teeth. He warned me that it is a bit bitter. It isn't really any worse than Colgate. We brushed for about twenty minutes as we walked and talked and spat. I love brushing my teeth, Maasai style. After about three cups of tea we went out for our first go at "hunting". I told him I wanted to go hunting, but later I realized that when you say that to a Maasai, you are telling him you want to go kill a male lion. That is the only hunting they do. They don't eat wild animals. They only eat their cows, goats, and sheep. So we pretty much went for a long walk. With our staffs in hand I followed very close behind Julius. I was a bit timid to walk around the bush because it looked like the Discovery channel, where all sorts of carnage takes place. After a short while we came up on some zebras and took a bunch of pictures. I got pretty close to them, but they were afraid that day apparently. Then we witnessed some illegal poachers killing an African deer and I saw Julius almost blindside one with his staff. It came out of nowhere! Then he told me all about man-eating pythons and about how the ants always head straight for the genitals. These ants bite too. It is not too fun. We came back for some lunch and then went back out for another go. We walked about twenty kilometers yesterday and I got to see some zebras, gazelles, deer, and some poachers. It was not bad for one day. The most intriguing thing was learning about the Morran. The Morrans are the Maasai worriers. All men around my age go and live together in the bush for about five months. Their diet consists of meat, blood, and some herb concoction that makes you a bit crazy. The herbs make you look like a wild animal and you don't care about anything. They train to kill a lion every day and master all their weapons. I hope to become the first white Morran to pass through Maasai Mara and kill a male lion. Who knows, it could happen?



How to kill a full grown male African lion:

After you have trained and you have had a bunch of herbs that make you brave you assemble your hunting party of no less than three and no more than ten. Assign which person is lion bait and the one going to kill the lion that day. Go on a big journey in search of your victim. Once you see your lazy victim make sure to keep your weapons in your left hand. The lion senses danger when you hold something in your right hand. They are that clever. Make sure your lion bait has his arm thoroughly wrapped for the old stick in the lion's mouth trick. Sharpen a stick (use olive wood) on both ends and make it just long enough to fit in the mouth of a lion. Put the stick in your right hand and when the Lion goes at you to kill you shove the stick vertically into the mouth of the Lion. Don't miss or you will die. Once the lion bites down on the stick and it pierces the top and bottom of the lion's mouth you have a handle to hold onto. Then with your left hand stab the lion with your lion spear. As the lion approaches have your hunting party jump the lion and appoint one warrior to pull on the tail and all the others need to stab the lion until it dies. Sounds easy enough. Right?

Next time I go to the Mara I am going to spend a couple weeks and go walk pass some lions, drink some blood, spend some time sleeping in the bush, learn to shoot a Maasai bow, and all that good stuff.

My friend Abel gave his life to Jesus this past week, which made my whole three months here in Africa worth it. I don't know if anything else that could bring me more joy than to see somebody pass from death to life. How cool is that!!! Thank God for the work He is doing.